Sequined-and-leopard-skinned Santa calls for attention as we round aĬorner. The Fortune Cookie family, closing up shop for the night, grins sheepishly. "ho," heading toward North Beach and pausing to applaud at the doors of With a Santa across the street from the bar. Li Po (Li Ho?) some Santas sing the Batman-defacing version of "Jingleīells." One cop, the only one shadowing us so far, converses jovially Hey! Ho! Ho Ho! Hey! Ho! Ho Ho! (Ramones). Get a ho? Can I get a motherfuckin' ho? (Boogie Down Productions). Puns overheard at the Santa Rampage: Somebody say ho. On the couch, his black boots resting atop a crate of empty bottles. The Easter Bunny!" Semi Claus, visibly and fraudulently upset,Īnnounces to Santas at random that he'd like to stop the hate andĪppoint himself the official Bunny-Santa liaison. Small stuffed bunny hits me in the head, and we realize that quite aįew synthetic rabbits are airborne.
#SANTA ARCHY FREE#
As Santas crush in to orderĭrinks, my companion, Semi Claus, and I, stuck on the outskirts, receive free libations from a generous Claus with a bladder of Cosmopolitan. Santa with a homemade tuba fashioned from a bong and some rubber tubing To quench thirsts and alarm more bar patrons.
Nevertheless smile and wave and cheer us on.
#SANTA ARCHY DRIVERS#
With gifts hand them out to the honking drivers we block, who A rebellious Santaįaction opts to pogo in the street and sing "We Are the Mods." Santas Megaphone Guy starts up "Silent Night," and 200 Santas sing inĬacophonous unison, forgetting the words on purpose. We pose for another photo in front of the Chinatown gate, "ho" jokes, and shouting various and sundry Christmas-related phrasesĪt random. Negotiating tourists, frightening children, amusing adults, making more Santas tally-ho, swarming along Powell Street, stopping traffic, Scratch: "Herecomessantaclausherecomessantaclausherecomessantaclaus One Santa, equipped with a homemade helmet-megaphone-hat-speaker-thing,ĭrones creepily in a bored baritone through the gizmo's reverb and It? Sleigh?" someone probably named Take My Wife Santa jokes. "Critical X-Mass," is about 150 to 200 strong. Grassroots gathering, a mostly leaderless event that has been called Then spills outside, where more Santas congregate and smoke.
Santa assemblage crowds into the Tunnel Top for a group picture and Green computer component and a Shift key. Santa Santa digs into his bagĪnd passes out gifts wrapped in pornographic paper. Santa!" a dozen people shout back at him.
#SANTA ARCHY FULL#
" I'm Santa!" notorious Santacon attendee Santa Santa shouts as a greeting, entering the bar in Christmas boxer shorts with a bag full of presents draped over his shoulder. Still as a helper rubs cotton balls on his stubble. Requisite fake beard than the girl Santas, and one deprived Santa sits Santas, by the look of things, are much more comfortable in the Ponders, strolling and pointing at other Santas in the bar. "Santa Baby" blares from the jukebox, inspiring a Popular beloved fantasy character, it seems, is too much for some Hundred perverts and miscreants dressed as every Western child's most Woman in a business suit, ostensibly in search of a quiet after-workĭrink, darkens the door, whirls around, and strides back out, aghast. Like a band of pirates than a gathering of Clauses. The horde "hos"Īnd grumbles and shouts and revels so fervently that it sounds more Or cheap-rental costume and personalized Santa name. Room packed with boisterous Santas, each with his or her own homemade The small Tunnel Top bar, a few addled normals stare suspiciously at a With a raised fist and a single, resounding "Ho!" This year's Sanįrancisco Santacon will reach peak performance tonight during the Santa Rampage, a traffic-stopping bar crawl through the city. A ragtag group of Santa Clauses hangs over the bridge, greetingĮach tourist, shopper, and other arriving Santa on the street below ON THE PRE -Chinatown end of Stockton Street on a recent Saturday, we ascend the cavernous and foul-smelling staircase to the Tunnel Top,Ĭolliding at the summit with three other future drunks clad in red and
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